Creating Memories - While your baby is still with you

Most hospitals take photographs of babies who have died and offer them to the parents to pick up whenever they feel they are ready to take them. Some parents may want to take photographs for themselves or even get a professional photographer in to take some (black and white as well as colour). Professional photographers may offer some great ideas for photos that you may not think of – family portraits, close-ups of fingers, hands and toes, photos from a distance, dressed and undressed, close up of face, baby with people – parents, grandparents, siblings, with a special toy etc. Photographs are great to have as you can cut them down to put in a locket and have a permanent record of your baby.

Perhaps you might like to have a video taken of your baby whilst in hospital or at home to record memories of your baby (holding, bathing, dressing your baby etc)

Many people do not realise it is often possible to take your baby home. Taking your baby home allows you to create many memories within your home environment. Check with your funeral director and they should be able to assist you.

Have a professional artist draw your baby from a description or a photograph. You can even have a drawing done of all your children together in the one picture.

Many hospitals or funeral directors have access to potter’s clay and can assist in arranging for baby’s hand and footprints to be cast in clay for the family to keep.

When bathing your baby you may like to use a special lotion or powder on baby’s skin. The scent often serves as a lasting reminder of contact with your baby.

Tell your baby what you would like them to know – how you feel, your hopes and dreams you had for them. Change their nappy, play music to them and give them a present if you want.

Some hospitals give quilts (donated by quilter’s guilds) that their baby has been wrapped in to parents to keep – similarly a bunny rug. If it isn’t washed it can retain the smell of your baby particularly if it is kept in a sealed plastic bag.

Some hospitals are able to provide a pram so that you can walk with your baby in the hospital grounds.

You may want to dress your baby in a couple of sets of clothes and keep one to remember that he or she wore that outfit.

You or a family member/friend may like to make a special card, gown, toy or bunny rug to be placed in the coffin with your baby.

Most hospitals do hand and foot prints – make sure that both hands and both feet are done. Another suggestion is to do lip prints by putting lipstick on your baby.

Place your baby on some paper and draw around his/her profile – it is hard to remember just how big they were (dressed and undressed). Do drawings around their hands and feet also.