You are listening to The Dance by Garth Brooks

Aaron was born on Monday 23 October 1989 by emergency c-section at 31 weeks after my membranes had ruptured on Saturday. Saturday and Sunday had been spent trying to hold off labour. By Monday morning it was obvious that this baby was not going to wait.

When he was born it was obvious he had some problems. His hands and feet were slightly twisted and he wasn't breathing on his own. At this stage no one knew what had caused the problems or what the prognosis would be.

Sometime after Aaron's birth we named his two doctors - Dr Happy and Dr Sad. When Dr Sad came to see us we knew he was being honest and that his prognosis was probably the correct one. He said there was some chance that as my placenta had come away the fact that Aaron wasn't responding was due to oxygen deprivation and that that could improve but realistically Aaron obviously had other problems. If we felt really down we would go back and see Dr Happy who would explain about the oxygen deprivation and how babies could recover from it.

I guess it was about Wednesday that we were aware that things didn't look good for Aaron. He still had barely moved and whenever they started turning the ventilator down he would only take one or two breaths for himself and then they would have to turn it back up. Even though we were starting to face reality we would still go to Dr Happy - we needed that and will forever be thankful that he helped give us some positive so we could enjoy more of the time with Aaron. We could never have survived without some positive medical input.

Of course even though we knew Dr Sad was giving us the truer picture we ALWAYS believed that Aaron would show him! We spent many hours sitting with Aaron. Touching him, Loving him.

On Thursday morning the Doctor's (Happy & Sad) came to us and told us there was no longer any hope for our beautiful boy and that we should switch off the ventilator and let him go. I felt my heart go still, my world crashed around me. We agreed that it would be for the best and it was decided that Friday would be the day. We spent most of the day with him, stroking him and praying that he would move - give us some sign that he was improving.

After having something to eat on Thursday night we went back in to see him and for the first time every time we spoke he opened his eyes. Daddy stroked his foot and he pulled it away as if ticklish - another first! We were ecstatic, it meant he was showing some improvement! I remember dragging ourselves away for some much needed sleep, hard to get though we were so excited.

We went to see the doctors first thing Friday morning. They too agreed it was a good sign and we should leave things as they are until Monday and if there were no more signs of improvement by then to turn the machines off then and see what happens.

We really enjoyed our time from then on. It was so much more relaxed. Aaron had shown us he was determined. A few more friends (of course all immediate family ;-) ) got to come and see Aaron. So therefore, he had a major impact on a few more lives.

Early on Monday 30th October the doctors came to talk to us. It was a sickening feeling as they walked in because we knew what they were there to talk about. Aaron hadn't moved or responded since the Thursday night.

We still believed he would show them!

Sadly it was not to be - Aaron Mark Taylor passed away peacefully in our arms and surrounded by his grandparents at 4.40pm.

We still don't know why he was sick. He hadn't developed his muscles fully which had caused a condition called Arthrogryposis (stiff joints) and his diaphragm was too underdeveloped to breathe.

Ten years down the track we have worked through a lot of grief but we will never be "over" Aaron. He will always be a very important part of our lives.

I have now become a SANDS support person and hope that through my experiences I may be able to help others as they begin or continue the awful journey of grief.

Please feel free to email me if you would like support or just a *talk*

Two years later Aaron was joined in Heaven by his brother Daniel, you can read his story by following the link below.

PLEASE SIGN AARON & DANIEL'S GUESTBOOK, LET US KNOW YOU WERE HERE!!

THESE GRAPHICS WERE MADE

ESPECIALLY FOR AARON

BY HIS MUMMY

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THEM